Every Friday night for nearly 25 years we went out together, my partner and I. Unlike a lot of people today (or a lot of people before the economy crashed), eating out was not something we did often, but celebrating the end of the week was a wonderful tradition that I so miss.
This started when we first met. I asked him about going to dinner after work one Friday night--one very special night. After we decided to make our relationship more permanent, Fridays were the best option for getting together because while we both might work late many nights, we both agreed to get out of the office as quickly as possible on Fridays.
Sometimes we'd go for Salvadorian, sometimes for Thai or Vietnamese (pho in the winter--often). But the location was less important that the date. And that's how we treated it. I'd usually get off first, get home and change, then wait outside the office building where he worked. We have our favorites, but he was often very glad to have me choose a place and just go. If the weather was bad we could always jump on the subway and stay in town. He and I both loved walking through snow showers.
We almost never encouraged or invited anyone to go with us, save for those few occasions when there was out of town company. It was our special night and I didn't want to share him with anyone, at least not on that night.
Now Friday's are different--not just any other day, but not something I look forward to. I'm trying to schedule dinners out with friends on either Friday or Saturday, but there are so many things to do with his estate that I sometimes just need to come home and get some work done.
This was one of those nights. The paperwork is starting to pile up, and most of it involves government agencies or life insurance companies only available during the week and during working hours. But I need to pull together documents and get ready before I pick up the phone or the number of hours I'm spending on this seemingly endless list of issues will be even higher.
I am having dinner with a friend tomorrow night, and that sort of thing is very important. I need something to look forward to, especially something that will get me out of the house, especially on weekends. This is how I'm surviving. Get out of the house, eat well, enjoy the company of friends who are capable of good conversation. And eat with someone who will let me talk for a little while about the good times my partner and I enjoyed.
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Wow, I lost my husband on August 28. He dropped dead on our livingroom floor. He was 58. We were together for 27 years. We gave the best of each other to the other. When I found him I started CPR, but I realized it too late quickly after I begun. I beat myself up daily for not finding him sooner. We have lived in this house for fifteen years. I informed our landlord the next day, 15 hours later he decided "that now would be a good time" to effect a no fault eviction. What a sensitive guy.
ReplyDeleteI'm at a loss as what to do with the rest of my life. He was a tough act to follow. Dating scares the hell out of me. I need time to figure out who the single me is. Life seems to be going on as normal for everyone else more and more as each day passes. While I'm not hanging by my fingernails, I am still hanging. I can handle all the surface stuff ok, but the internal me is lost and scared. I received insurance papers yesterday on a policy I took out years ago and forgot about. As I reviewed them I recognized his hand writing, and remembered when he made me sign them. Of course I completely lost it. I had to put them away. I'll try to deal with them later. I lost my job due to lack of work. The hits just keep coming. Thankfully he managed my life which leaves me financially comfortable. I'm doing good at paying the bills on time. Cooking for one sucks, besides, I'm a good cook- he was an awesome cook. With all the other negative stuff foisted on me I don't dare think about traveling until I resolve them, so I feel like I'm stuck in this house for a while.
Well I've whined long enough. I hope this is therapeutic. When I try to talk about these things and how I feel about it, I break down. So maybe this will help. Curtis.